Reasons Why Having a Child with Autism ROCKS!

My son with autism, Danny, is doing great. He’s motivated at school, behaving very nicely at home and seems very happy. And, oh yeah, he’s talking! That’s right, the child who I was just writing about having never said, “mama” is now saying it along with many other things. I am done waiting for that milestone and I am so happy. I want to spread my joy. Sometimes, and believe me, I know this, it is hard to find anything positive about having a child with autism. We watch our child struggle to communicate, make connections, and navigate the world around them. But, when I got to really thinking about it, I found some wonderful things embedded in this journey. Being a mother is a life changing experience in itself but having a child with autism has made me a better person. It has pushed me to the best mother I could be and has taught me to appreciate all the wonderful things that come from being “normal.” So, below is a list of things that I would have missed out on if I didn’t have my sweet Danny.

1. The People.
I have met some of the best people because of Danny’s autism. The therapists, teachers, and other autism parents are compassionate, energetic and all around awesome people. They have laughed with me, cried with me and celebrated every tiny milestone. Also, my mommy friends with typical kids are awesome, too. They are the ones who have accepted Danny whole-heartedly and sometimes he was the first person with autism they have ever known. They didn’t freak out when Danny bit them (they were love bites, I’m sure!); they forgave me when it took me a month to call them back; they made sure they had gluten and casein free snacks at play dates and they just laughed and helped me clean when my child had a very messy potty accident at their house.
My life would be so empty without all of them.

2. The People affected by autism.
Naturally, having a child with autism, you meet a lot of other children and some adults with autism. Before Danny, I was a little frightened of people with autism and only felt pity for them. Now, I love being around people with autism. They are some of the most innocent and beautiful souls I have ever encountered. Experiencing the world with them has completely opened my eyes to some of the simple joys of life.

3. It Gives you Confidence
Parenting a child with autism is no joke. It can be terrible, heartbreaking work. I have dealt with things that made the problems I had before Danny seem ridiculous. But you know what? I did it. I fought for my child. I’ve figured out how to feed him, educate him and raise him in the best possible way. It wasn’t easy, but I did it. Now, I feel like I could do anything. I could probably slap on some lipstick and run a small country without breaking a sweat.

4. You Develop Superpowers.
Danny can be a handful. He bolts, he likes to make messes and he puts a lot of stuff that is not meant to be eaten in his mouth. After five years of being his mommy, I stop him from running off before he even realizes that he was going to run off. I can extract inedible things from his mouth with one finger without being bitten. And, I can hear the tell-tale sound of the refrigerator door being opened from the opposite end of the house. Since Danny was non-verbal until recently, I learned to read his mind. I could anticipate his every need before he even realized he wanted it. I’ve developed cat-like reflexes, catching Danny before he flips his chair over, grabbing his little hand before he runs off. All I need now is a Super Mommy costume and the ability to fly. X-Ray vision might be fun, too.

5. Faith.
Some of my readers may disagree with me, but having a child with autism has deepened my faith incredibly. I was meant to be Danny’s mother and he was meant to be my son. I know that God put me on this journey for a reason and sometimes the one thing that kept me going was knowing that He believed I could do it. I feel like God had the faith in me to give me this rare jewel of a child and I have faith that with God’s help, I can raise my son to be the man that he is meant to become.

6. An Excuse
Let’s face facts, all moms at some point or time make mistakes. We might send one of our children off to school with no underwear on and unbrushed teeth. We might snap at one of our children in a grocery store. One of our little angels might repeat a very inappropriate word in Sunday school that they heard Mommy say when she dropped a can of soup on her foot. Our houses (especially mine!) might look and smell a little like a fraternity house. We lose our patience, forget things and basically act human. Sadly, I have heard other mommies being ripped apart by other people for these mistakes. But, when you have a child with autism, most people have the good sense to keep their mouth shut, at least to your face. While I’m pretty certain that I would still make mistakes if I had only typically developing children, I think I experience a lot of more tolerance and less judgment due to the fact that one of my children has autism. While I think this is very unfair (being a mom, no matter what, is hard work!), I will accept it as a perk.

7. Perspective
I now know what a gift it is just to be able to speak. When I think of how Danny must have felt when he couldn’t get anyone to understand him, it breaks my heart. I now appreciate the ability to simply open my mouth and have words come out, simply and easily. Also, having two other typical children, I see what a blessing it is have an average child. While I wouldn’t consider either of my other boys to be just average, I don’t care if they are a football star, neurosurgeon, Olympian or Oscar winning actor. While I think it’s possible for them to do any of those things, I just want them grow up, live independently and be happy.

For now, this is all I have but I am sure there are more reasons I will discover as I travel down this road. While I never would have chosen this path in life, autism has changed me for the better and I am grateful for this. My life is full of good people, humor, joy and I am thankful for all of it.
-Alicia Ballard Westbrook

Giving Thanks for Hope

Join us for Giving Thanks for Hope 
on Saturday, November 19th, 2011, the wonderful folks at
SouthRock Bar and Grille at 830 Greenville Highway, Hendersonville are hosting an all-day event for St. Gerard House!

Family Friendly Lunch Hour
11:30am - 1:30pm Enjoy time with your kids of all ages and abilities with gluten-free menu options, live acoustic music by Johnnie Blackwell, toys and games, and an autism-friendly atmosphere!

Bike Raffle

Enter to win an awesome Mountain Dew Mountain Bike!

Thanks to Sycamore Cycles, the bike is tuned up and ready to ride!

Raffle tickets $10 each, or 5 for $45

Tickets are available now through November 19th at St. Gerard House and at SouthRock Bar and Grille.

Need not be present to win! More photos of the bike on our website - click here.

50-50 Raffle
The more entries, the bigger the pot!
Winner takes half, St. Gerard House gets the rest!

Cornhole Tournament
Gather your friends, pay per player, and decide who's the best around!

Music
8:30pm until ? Enjoy great food, the company of friends, and great music from Johnnie Blackwell and his band, the Six Toed Possum Babies, all evening!

Please come out and join us for a fun-filled day - there's something for everyone! Proceeds from the day's raffles, games, and food sales benefit St. Gerard House. We hope you will invite your friends, and join us!