Cleaning Green & Kid Safe

Cleaning Green & Kid-Safe

By Billie Karel

Like it or not, cleaning is a part of life…especially life with kids! Many products are available on store shelves to help you in the battle against dust, dirt, mold & mildew, and soap scum. But, how do you know if that “clean smell” is really clean, or if it’s the smell of toxic chemicals?

Sadly, many cleaning products are full of chemicals that can be hazardous to our health. The fumes from cleaners containing bleach or “fragrance” chemicals are likely to be:

-       Irritants that can raise the risk of getting asthma, or cause asthma attacks in those who have it.

-       Carcinogens that can raise the risk for cancer.

-       Hormone mimicking chemicals that are associated with birth defects.

There’s nothing clean and healthy about hazardous chemicals! Baking soda, lemon juice, white vinegar, and even club soda can all be used as cheap, non-toxic alternatives to harsh cleaning chemicals. Here are some of Toxic Free NC’s favorite green cleaning recipes to help you get started. All of these products are safe for use around kids. They’re even safe for older kids to mix and use themselves, so long as they have adult supervision!

Make-it-yourself All-Purpose Cleaner

2 cups hot water
2 tsp borax* powder

1 tsp baking soda

½ tsp lemon juice

½ tsp liquid soap (dish soap works great!)

Directions: Mix all ingredients thoroughly, then put in a spray bottle. Label the bottle so you know what’s in it. Great for table and counter tops, and spot cleaning wherever you need it. This cleaner gets rave reviews from child care providers because it takes marker ink off tabletops!

Mold & Mildew Killer

½ cup white vinegar

½ cup borax* powder

2 cups warm water

Directions: Mix the ingredients up, then pour or spray them onto the moldy area. Leave for about 10 minutes, then scrub! If mold is still visible, you may need to repeat the application. This mixture loses its cleaning power quickly, so don’t save the leftovers, just pour them down the drain.

Slow Drain Cleaner

Baking soda – about 1/3 cup

White vinegar – about 1/3 cup

Hot water

Directions: Sprinkle baking soda down the slow drain. Then, drizzle in white vinegar. The mixture will bubble up, releasing carbon dioxide gas. Leave it alone for a few minutes until the bubbling stops. Then, pour very hot water down the drain to rinse. Using this process every so often will help prevent slow or clogged drains!

* Borax powder is a low-toxicity powder typically sold in the laundry aisle at the grocery store. The biggest advantage to borax for cleaning is that it does not create any fumes – it is what is called “non-volatile.” However it is mildly toxic, so store and handle it with care, and don’t let children or pets put it in their mouths.

For more green cleaning tips, visit ToxicFreeNC.org or NCHealthyHomes.com.

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Billie Karel is program director at Toxic Free NC. In her free time, she gardens, cooks, and cleans up after her dog using only kid-safe (and dog-safe) green cleaners!

Toxic Free NC is a non-profit organization in Raleigh fighting pesticide pollution by advocating for common-sense alternatives that protect our health and environment. Toxic Free NC works extensively with child care providers and parents to reduce toxic pollution in children’s environments. You can find out more about their work at www.toxicfreenc.org, or by calling 919-833-1123.

A Letter to my Son with Autism

Dear Danny,

            The first time I really saw you, you were nestled contentedly against my chest, hours old. Your perfection and beauty blew me away; you were a very special gift. When I leaned down and smelled your downy hair, I knew nothing of autism or the ups and downs that we would experience together. All I knew was that I wanted to be the best mother that I could be for you.  

            In the five and half years we’ve spent together, Danny, I’ve tried, I’ve tried so hard to be a good mom and give you a full and joyful life, despite your autism. After you were diagnosed, I was so sad and overwhelmed, I’m sometimes afraid that I did not spring into action quick enough or fight hard enough for you. But, I did my best and I’m learning to accept that I did what I could. But you, my sweet Danny-Boy, you have given me so much in your short, little life. You have taught me patience. You have taught me how to advocate. You have taught me perseverance. I have watched you struggle to learn simple things, things that most children quickly and easily pick up, things that most people take for granted. You never gave up, though and so I never gave up on you. You have also taught me how to find joy in the simple things. The way your face lights up when you are outside or when you find that perfect piece of string to flip has shown me that sometimes the simplest pleasures are the best ones. You have taught me humility. You, my boy, are a delicious mystery and in order for me to even begin to solve it; I had to forget everything I thought I knew about life. Danny, you and your brothers have molded me into the woman I am today and for that I am so grateful.

            I am so proud of you, son. I don’t think I tell you that enough and sometimes I really don’t even think to tell you but I am proud. You struggled for almost five years with no way to communicate and yet you never gave up. And now, I hear you speaking, saying “mama,” “juice,” “chip” and it is such a miracle. Thank you, Danny, for giving me those words. You work so hard and, for the most part, you never resent me, your teachers, or your therapists for pushing you. Also, I know that you are sensitive to sounds and I am so proud of the way you handle it now. Instead of screaming or being aggressive, you’ve learned to cope, with your little hands over your ears and a patient look on your face. Finally, I am proud of  the delight you have brought to so many people; me, your daddy, your brothers, your grandparents, and teachers. Your sweet smile and joyful presence is such a gift and I am so, so proud of you, simply for being who you are.

            I’m not going to lie to you, Danny; I never wanted a child with autism. And sometimes, I look at you and my heart still hurts a little. I don’t want to watch you struggle and I don’t know what the future holds for us and it scares me a little. But, above all, you are a precious gift, a blessing. None of us, not your brothers, me or your dad, your teachers, would be the same without you. You have given me so much and, Danny, I promise you that I will work for the rest of my life to give it all back to you.

Love you,

Mama

Alicia Ballard-Westbrook

Saving Money ~ Eating Healthy

Saving Money ~ Eating Healthy

I know what you are thinking:  “aren’t those two ideas mutually exclusive?”   Actually, after 35 years of advocating healthy eating (and at the same time having to watch our family’s food budget), I can honestly say, “they are not!”    Here’s why:    When you take a portion of your hard earned money & invest it wisely in foods that provide superior nutrition, you are sick less often which translates into spending less on doctor’s visits, prescriptions and over the counter medications.   You’ll also miss fewer days of work which may result in promotions & career advancements.   Best of all, you’ll be more productive, have more energy to exercise and do other activities that you love which adds up to keeping you healthier longer.    

Don’t let the societal myth that you have to spend a lot of money in order to eat healthy stop you from trying these:

Tips for Saving Money and Eating Healthy

1.      Buy in Bulk: Packaging food in fancy boxes and bags is costly.   If you don’t mind scooping up your own spices, nuts, flours &, grains,  you can save a considerable amount.  If your grocery store doesn’t  have a bulk section,  try a local food co-op  (coopdirectory.org)   

2.     Buy local:  Many communities now have farmer’s markets that sell locally-grown eggs, beef, chicken and seasonal  vegetables & fruit.  Since the farmers are selling to you directly, the food is less expensive often saving you up to 25%. Another option is to join a CSA farm (community supported agriculture).  You pay one lump sum per season and each week pick up your produce directly from the farmer who only grows according to how many families buy a share in his farm.  

3.     Make Food in Batches:   Whether it’s loaves of whole grain bread, a pot of soup or a healthy snack such as homemade humus….take a couple of hours on a weekend, invite a friend over and cook big batches of your favorite recipes together.  Then freeze them… and voila’, that mid-week dinner practically makes itself!  Just add a fresh green salad and you’ve just quelled the temptation to go out to dinner and spend more money.  

4.     Grow Some Food:  Whether it’s a pot of fresh herbs by your windowsill, a small backyard garden, or a row in an inner-city community garden, growing even a small amount of food can save you a considerable amount of money. 

5.     Buy Organic:  “How can buying organic possibly save our family money ?”  Consider these two facts:  food grown in non-organic soils do not contain anywhere near the nutrient content of food grown in organic soil.  So although you might be paying a bit more,  your body is receiving higher levels of health promoting nutrients.  Secondly, conventionally- grown food is sprayed with chemicals that cause a burden on our health.   If you can’t afford all organic foods,  try and stay away from the fruits and vegetables with permeable skin. For a full list of these  check: foodnews.org

So with finances being a major concern for all of us,  healthy eating not only adds years to your life and life to your years, but now more than ever, it just makes good economic sense! 

Maureen McDonnell, RN

St Gerard House Board Member

For more articles, go to www.sokhop.com Saving Our Kids, Healing Our Planet

Reasons Why Having a Child with Autism ROCKS!

My son with autism, Danny, is doing great. He’s motivated at school, behaving very nicely at home and seems very happy. And, oh yeah, he’s talking! That’s right, the child who I was just writing about having never said, “mama” is now saying it along with many other things. I am done waiting for that milestone and I am so happy. I want to spread my joy. Sometimes, and believe me, I know this, it is hard to find anything positive about having a child with autism. We watch our child struggle to communicate, make connections, and navigate the world around them. But, when I got to really thinking about it, I found some wonderful things embedded in this journey. Being a mother is a life changing experience in itself but having a child with autism has made me a better person. It has pushed me to the best mother I could be and has taught me to appreciate all the wonderful things that come from being “normal.” So, below is a list of things that I would have missed out on if I didn’t have my sweet Danny.

1. The People.
I have met some of the best people because of Danny’s autism. The therapists, teachers, and other autism parents are compassionate, energetic and all around awesome people. They have laughed with me, cried with me and celebrated every tiny milestone. Also, my mommy friends with typical kids are awesome, too. They are the ones who have accepted Danny whole-heartedly and sometimes he was the first person with autism they have ever known. They didn’t freak out when Danny bit them (they were love bites, I’m sure!); they forgave me when it took me a month to call them back; they made sure they had gluten and casein free snacks at play dates and they just laughed and helped me clean when my child had a very messy potty accident at their house.
My life would be so empty without all of them.

2. The People affected by autism.
Naturally, having a child with autism, you meet a lot of other children and some adults with autism. Before Danny, I was a little frightened of people with autism and only felt pity for them. Now, I love being around people with autism. They are some of the most innocent and beautiful souls I have ever encountered. Experiencing the world with them has completely opened my eyes to some of the simple joys of life.

3. It Gives you Confidence
Parenting a child with autism is no joke. It can be terrible, heartbreaking work. I have dealt with things that made the problems I had before Danny seem ridiculous. But you know what? I did it. I fought for my child. I’ve figured out how to feed him, educate him and raise him in the best possible way. It wasn’t easy, but I did it. Now, I feel like I could do anything. I could probably slap on some lipstick and run a small country without breaking a sweat.

4. You Develop Superpowers.
Danny can be a handful. He bolts, he likes to make messes and he puts a lot of stuff that is not meant to be eaten in his mouth. After five years of being his mommy, I stop him from running off before he even realizes that he was going to run off. I can extract inedible things from his mouth with one finger without being bitten. And, I can hear the tell-tale sound of the refrigerator door being opened from the opposite end of the house. Since Danny was non-verbal until recently, I learned to read his mind. I could anticipate his every need before he even realized he wanted it. I’ve developed cat-like reflexes, catching Danny before he flips his chair over, grabbing his little hand before he runs off. All I need now is a Super Mommy costume and the ability to fly. X-Ray vision might be fun, too.

5. Faith.
Some of my readers may disagree with me, but having a child with autism has deepened my faith incredibly. I was meant to be Danny’s mother and he was meant to be my son. I know that God put me on this journey for a reason and sometimes the one thing that kept me going was knowing that He believed I could do it. I feel like God had the faith in me to give me this rare jewel of a child and I have faith that with God’s help, I can raise my son to be the man that he is meant to become.

6. An Excuse
Let’s face facts, all moms at some point or time make mistakes. We might send one of our children off to school with no underwear on and unbrushed teeth. We might snap at one of our children in a grocery store. One of our little angels might repeat a very inappropriate word in Sunday school that they heard Mommy say when she dropped a can of soup on her foot. Our houses (especially mine!) might look and smell a little like a fraternity house. We lose our patience, forget things and basically act human. Sadly, I have heard other mommies being ripped apart by other people for these mistakes. But, when you have a child with autism, most people have the good sense to keep their mouth shut, at least to your face. While I’m pretty certain that I would still make mistakes if I had only typically developing children, I think I experience a lot of more tolerance and less judgment due to the fact that one of my children has autism. While I think this is very unfair (being a mom, no matter what, is hard work!), I will accept it as a perk.

7. Perspective
I now know what a gift it is just to be able to speak. When I think of how Danny must have felt when he couldn’t get anyone to understand him, it breaks my heart. I now appreciate the ability to simply open my mouth and have words come out, simply and easily. Also, having two other typical children, I see what a blessing it is have an average child. While I wouldn’t consider either of my other boys to be just average, I don’t care if they are a football star, neurosurgeon, Olympian or Oscar winning actor. While I think it’s possible for them to do any of those things, I just want them grow up, live independently and be happy.

For now, this is all I have but I am sure there are more reasons I will discover as I travel down this road. While I never would have chosen this path in life, autism has changed me for the better and I am grateful for this. My life is full of good people, humor, joy and I am thankful for all of it.
-Alicia Ballard Westbrook

Giving Thanks for Hope

Join us for Giving Thanks for Hope 
on Saturday, November 19th, 2011, the wonderful folks at
SouthRock Bar and Grille at 830 Greenville Highway, Hendersonville are hosting an all-day event for St. Gerard House!

Family Friendly Lunch Hour
11:30am - 1:30pm Enjoy time with your kids of all ages and abilities with gluten-free menu options, live acoustic music by Johnnie Blackwell, toys and games, and an autism-friendly atmosphere!

Bike Raffle

Enter to win an awesome Mountain Dew Mountain Bike!

Thanks to Sycamore Cycles, the bike is tuned up and ready to ride!

Raffle tickets $10 each, or 5 for $45

Tickets are available now through November 19th at St. Gerard House and at SouthRock Bar and Grille.

Need not be present to win! More photos of the bike on our website - click here.

50-50 Raffle
The more entries, the bigger the pot!
Winner takes half, St. Gerard House gets the rest!

Cornhole Tournament
Gather your friends, pay per player, and decide who's the best around!

Music
8:30pm until ? Enjoy great food, the company of friends, and great music from Johnnie Blackwell and his band, the Six Toed Possum Babies, all evening!

Please come out and join us for a fun-filled day - there's something for everyone! Proceeds from the day's raffles, games, and food sales benefit St. Gerard House. We hope you will invite your friends, and join us!

Building Dedication

On Monday, October 10th, many of our friends joined us for a
dedication ceremony. Bishop Jugis blessed the crowd,
and then the grounds and all the rooms inside.

Here are a few photos from the event:

students and teachers take a break from the regular school day 

to take part in the ceremony

friends and family join the celebration

Fr. Nick, Fr. West, and Bishop Jugis 

prepare for the ceremony

thank goodness the rain held off

Caroline does a reading during the ceremony

Bishop Jugis blesses the crowd

Fr. Nick assists as Bishop Jugis blesses rooms in the Grotto

while Fr. Nick and Bishop Jugis were inside blessing the building, 

the children lifted their voices in beautiful song

the crowd listens as the children sing

Caroline and Ms. Breerwood 

handsome board members and supporters 

of SGH wear puzzle-piece ties

we also  made it to the paper! click here for the 

hendersonville times news photo gallery of the event

Click here to see even more photos on our Facebook page.

Thank you to everyone who continues to support us in all ways!

And So We Wait...

For all the other moms who are waiting with me, especially Stacy, Moranda, Marie, Caroline, Jennifer and Kelly…

When Danny first started school at the Grotto, one of his programs was waiting. To teach this skill, the teacher would show Danny a toy, a ribbon he liked to play with or sometimes even food and tell him to “Wait.” Danny would have to sit, without tantruming or grabbing the toy for a predetermined amount of time before the teacher would give it to him. Danny has since mastered this task and now I feel like I am the one who needs to be taught how to wait.

Parents of children with autism usually have to wait for many things that most other parents receive quickly. We wait for eye contact. We wait for milestones. We wait for first words. We wait for doctors to offer us answers about our children’s diagnoses. We wait for the education system to be able to effectively teach our child. We sometimes have to wait for family members to come to terms with our child’s behavior. We wait for terrifying tantrums to end. We wait for progress after starting new therapy programs/diets/medications/supplements. We wait for the time when we can take our child out in public without being stared at or receiving unsolicited advice.  We wait to have a true conversation with our child. We wait for hugs and kisses. We wait for “I love you.”

I have been living with autism for about four years now and I am still waiting for many of those things. Some nights, I dream about Danny laughing, talking and playing like a typical five-year-old. Then I wake up and still find myself waiting. I get hugs and kisses from him now and when I come to pick him up a smile spreads across his face and he comes to me. I felt like I waited forever for that one. But, I am still waiting for my sweet little son to look at me and call me “Mommy” and I feel myself growing impatient. I get angry and plead with God. I’m not asking for much, no miraculous recovery or even a full conversation. I just want Danny to look at me and say “Mommy.” I hear other children, including my own typical boys, saying it, “Mommy, mommy, mommy” and I don’t understand why Danny can’t, why he won’t just say it.

My husband also waits. Danny has never called him “Daddy.” Sometimes, too, I think he waits for me. For his wife to quit cycling through the anger, joy, sadness, hope and despair that comes with having a child with autism. He waits for me to finally let go and trust someone else with Danny so we can have a weekend away. Even my other sons wait. They wait for Danny to play with them. They wait for Danny to call their names.  They wait for me while I’m taking Danny to therapy and while I’m attending meetings about Danny. My family waits for Danny, my family waits for me.

Living with autism is like a master class in waiting. We learn to wait for our child, for our sibling. We bide our time and believe that one day all those things we are waiting for will happen. While we are waiting, we learn how to, bit by bit, pull our child out of the fog of autism. We advocate for better education and demand answers from the medical community. We patiently explain autism to neighbors, to other mothers at the park and to complete strangers at the grocery store. Sometimes while we are waiting, we discover the unexpected joys and fullness that come from knowing a person with autism. While I’ve been waiting, I’ve met the most extraordinary people I know I would have never known if Danny didn’t have autism. Even though I am still waiting, I have some great people to do it with.

I will probably be waiting the rest of my life. The road ahead of Danny is long and hard. But, the one thing that I want my son to know is that I will wait for him. Whatever road Danny’s autism takes him down, I will be waiting to see where it goes with hope in my heart.